Wednesday, May 5, 2010

UGH!

I am so disgusted with myself and not updating my blog. Is it bad that I check everyone else's and when I go to hit POST on mine....I have nothing to say, or the kids need my attention, or I have to edited pics, or my house needs picking up or the timer goes off.....I am just disgusted that I dont have enough time to do anything these days. I want this to be a place that I share all of Ginny and Reese's accomplishments, pictures, cute sayings, etc! But I am failing in the blogging world. Blogging is called blogging because it is something you should do regularly and clearly, I fail at being a blogger. Therefore, here is a letter to my kids....I feel it is necessary since Mother's Day is right around the corner.

Reesers and GinGin,

I might be busy with all that is going on but my love for you won't ever stop. In fact, my favorite pictures that I have ever "taken" are stored in my mind....little memories I will never forget. I hardly pick up the camera when yall are around because A) you hate the camera and B) I want to always make sure that I have two hands so that I give you a big huge, or a helpful hand, or a hand to hold. (We all know my camera has its own bag, its own set of rules and isnt an easy gadget to carry around)

I make tons of mistakes, and sometimes I fail. At night I always think to myself, "I should have done this with them today, or I should have read that book over again slowly, or I should have squeezed them tighter". Then I am reminded that failing is OK and that God forgives us when we fail. And for that....I am grateful! I want to spend every waking second with you two....I want to hold you both in my laps forever and watch reruns of Disney movies over and over (ok, I might be going a little far with the movie thing, but I want the snuggles). I have amazing friends that blog about every word, accomplishment, weight, height, favorite food their kids have and I am AMAZED of their commitment to documenting everything. I am amazed and well, jealous, actually.

Reese, right now, you dont have a baby book. Why you ask?? It is hard for me to put all your pictures, memories of your first year in one little book when I all I have are 3 pictures of your sister's first year. I would do ANYTHING to be able to show Ginny baby pictures, her first crawl, her first tooth, her first bottle.... I wish I could have have 2 minutes of when she was a baby to hear what her cries sounded like and what her skin felt like. I just feel bad having a shrine of pictures for you, Reese and none for Ginny. I will make a baby book for you and Ginny will have a book of her own....BUT, right now I am enjoying the memories in the making!

One thing I know, is that my love for you is, well, there are no words. I shower a little faster, I wear less makeup, my clothes might not match all because I want to rush down the stairs to play with you. I want to be there when you fail, be there when fall and pick you up.......I cannot be your Rock, you have Jesus for that, but I can be your guiding light!

I want your love for Christ to be out of this world. I want you to find a friend in Jesus and I want you to personally know him. I want you to pray for one another and the Lord knows I need you to pray for me! I want you to experience a life where your heart burns for worship and your light shines so that others might know how great He is! I want you to feel proud of your God that you can drop on your knees when your friends need prayer and I want you to pray outloud with others. I want Jesus to live in your heart and I want the world to see his grace through you. Daddy and I will do our best to guide you in His path........just know we are learning right along with you of how FABULOUS Jesus is!!!

So happy Mother's Day.......this day will be a celebration for me not OF me.....I have the two greatest munchkins in the world and that is why I am a mother. Reese and Ginny...I love you!

I love you more than the moon and the stars.
(then Ginny normally says) I love you more than the trees and grass.
I love you more than every thing!

Mommy

2 comments:

Steven said...
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The Cooks said...

Sweet Mama, you are a super woman! I share your feelings...I wish I was better about recording everything too! We do the best we can I guess. At least you have TONS of beautiful pictures of your precious babies!! Hope you have a relaxing Mother's Day!